How Mothers Love by Naomi Stadlen

The mother-child relationship is completely unique.  No other relationship begins before birth and involves such dependency of one person upon the other.  But maternal love is not as simple as it seems.  Sometimes, a mother feels she is being wrung dry, has no more to give.  Other mothers are shocked by the sheer intensity of their love for their child.  Another mother might feel concerned that she is not experiencing the strength of feelings that she has been led to believe she will, or should. 

Since 1991 Naomi Stadlen, a qualified psychotherapist, has been running London-based weekly discussion groups called Mothers Talking.  The women sit in a circle and Naomi asks each of them what sort of week they have had, a question which immediately sparks discussion and prompts the women to open up about their experience of mothering.  Babies are welcome at the group up until the age where they can understand what the mothers are saying.  Stadlen found that after these meetings certain phrases and comments kept coming back to her, and she started to write them down.  In time, she found she was starting to piece together a fragmented yet telling portrait of maternal love, and shadowy patterns were beginning to emerge. 

How Mothers Love is a detailed study of the nature of motherhood from the acclaimed author of What Mothers Do.  Stadlen was able to examine her own experience as a mother of three and a grandmother of two, as well as all the insights she acquired over twenty years of taking La Leche League (mother-to-mother support about breastfeeding) and Mothers Talking meetings, in order to build up a picture of the myriad ways in which mothers love.  In exploring many women’s personal experiences of the various challenges faced by the new mother, How Mothers Love is a sensitive, realistic and thoughtful observation of maternal love in all its guises and manifestations.

‘Only babies know the secret of how mothers love.  They gaze steadily into our faces and see the myriad changes in our most intimate expressions.  We shall never see our own faces as they do.  Strange that each one of us has been a baby, yet few of us can recall what we saw and felt then.’

Naomi is a La Leche League leader, runs pregnancy Tai Chi classes and a Mothers Talking group which takes place at our Stoke Newington shop every Monday. Please call the shop on 0207 249 5069 for times of the next meeting, or see our listing site Born Together